one of those strange feelings..

today, my morning started as usual with me waking up at 10...i had a feeling that i wouldnt b having college...had heard so much abt the blasts, that i had assumed that there wud b a total bandh in mumbai..but, i was wrong and was forced to get out of the bed and get ready for college....and when i was all set to get out of my house, i didnt have any feeling of a fear as to wt would happen during the day..

anyway, i finished my work, enjoyed with my frnds in the canteen and then decided to go back home...but, just as we were abt to leave, we got the news that firing has started at cst station, and needless to say v wer a bit tensed..could definitely not call it fear though...

all the professors and students started getting out of college, and it was high time that evn v went home...all along, i was constantly in touch with my dad, with whom i was gonna go home....and my frnds wer with me throughout....v waited for the train, which as usual was late, and as was expected, not  evn a single train showed up for 20 minutes, so we thought bus is the next best option...or a rickshaw....finally, got into one(which was jam-packed) and ppl wer sumhow waiting to get home...i could see sum worried faces, ppl talking to their relatives on phone, some ppl discussing abt the taj and oberoi, some adding to the topic of conversation(with wtever they knew)....i could start feeling tension arnd....and just wn i was talking to my dad, one of my frnds told me tht his father was in cst, where everyone was insde a bldng..1 little flicker of tension....."hope his dad is ok"....and one more frnd's dad was in colaba....the very place where yesterday al the action was hapng...

just wn u hear tht  sum1 is in trouble, u tend to make tht person feel "everything will b over, its ok...." but its wn the same tragedy affects us, that we realise how serious and dangerous it is..v always tell ppl to b "optimistic"...but can v be optimistic wn sumthing bad hapns to us?wn sum tragedy strikes us, and we r expected to b ok and optimistic? 

i know i didnt feel any kind of a fear the entire day, but iam now sure what fear would actually mean....and i wish i dont ever get to feel it....